Back Home by Chris Hardie
Did you know that the word tire is a short form of attire based on the idea that a wheel with a tire is dressed up?
I didn’t either and the etymology of the word was the furthest thought from my mind as I crawled under the back of my pickup truck to check out the state of the spare tire that was mounted underneath.
To say that the left rear tire was flat would be an understatement. My wife Sherry and I were traveling down the interstate when a “low air” alert light flashed on the dashboard. I watched in alarm as it went from 29 pounds, 27 pounds, 25 pounds and so on – dropping in pressure almost as fast as I’m typing the words.
I left the interstate at the nearest exit and pulled into a gas station parking lot. By the time I spotted the location of the air hose, the indicator said the tire air pressure was at zero. I got out to take a look and was greeted by a tire that was off the rim.
Did you know that the first patent for the standard pneumatic tire was from Scottish inventor Robert William Thomson in 1847? Neither did I, but I wished that Bobby had been there to help me figure out how to get the spare tire from under the truck. It appeared to be held in place by a metal plate, which was quite rusted after having been there for eight years.
I located the tire iron under the back seat and began to pound on the plate to try and loosen it. After several minutes, I remembered one of my annual New Year’s resolutions about working smarter and not harder and told Sherry that I was calling our emergency car repair service. We’ve been members since 1982 and have only used it twice before.
I called, received a text and a link to the service call and received a message that someone would be there within 20 minutes. It wasn’t bitterly cold, there was no snow and the demand for service at 7:45 a.m. should be pretty light.
A few minutes later I received a robocall that said due to high service demand, it was unclear how long it would take for someone to arrive. I waited 10 minutes and there was no change. So I crawled back underneath the truck and resumed my brute force project on the bracket.
Again trying to be smarter, I decided that instead of using a bigger hammer – which I didn’t have available – that I would consult the truck manual. I discovered that the tire was actually designed to be lowered on a cable by removing a lock located underneath a plastic cover near the rear license plate.
Sure enough, I found the lock, removed it with the truck key and fitted together two shafts that came with the tire iron. The end of the shaft fit over a nut above the tire and I began cranking the tire down. The tire slowly lowered to the ground. The wheel was rusty, but the tire was still holding air and I was close to an air pump.
My phone rang again and it was a repeat of the previous message that a service tech was still being summoned with no estimated time of arrival. At this point I figured at least I’d have a head start by the time the tire service arrived. I loosened the lug nuts on the flat tire, put the emergency brake on, crawled even further under the truck to place the jack under the axle and connected three pieces of shaft to crank the jack up.
Soon I had the flat tire off the ground. I removed it and replaced it with the spare. I tightened the lug nuts, lowered the truck back to the ground, re-tightened the lug nuts and the job was finished.
Just then I received a text message from the auto service that said: “Your service is complete. How did we do?”
I replied: “No one showed up. I changed the tire myself.”
I later clicked on a link that came with the text, which told me the service had been done by Robert and asked for a review. My review – to paraphrase – was 1 star (I had no option for zero stars) for Robert because he never showed up. I gave myself 4 stars because I took a little longer than I should have to complete the service. I then said that I would like an explanation as to why Robert never showed up and there shouldn’t be a bill for the service.
Maybe Robert changed someone else’s tire? Maybe he’s still driving around the parking lot. I have no idea. I never received a reply to my query.
The first tire put into production was in 1888 by John Boyd Dunlop, a Scot living in Ireland. His patent was declared invalid in 1892 because of Thomson’s earlier patent, but Dunlop went on to start Pneumatic Tyre which later became Dunlop Rubber and Dunlop Tyres.
Turns out my flat tire was due to a puncture and it was questionable if it could be repaired. Again recalling my resolution, I opted for four new tires instead of getting a full winter out of the old ones and holding my breath they would last.
That may have been the smart move, but it destroyed another resolution of saving more money each month.
But you have to get a grip on reality when the rubber hits the road. That’s just how I roll.
Chris Hardie spent more than 30 years as a reporter, editor
